hm...

so, i might not be going to maine after all. well, maine isn't out of the question, but it would appear that salt is. it's $9000 that i would have to take out in loans on top of my current loans, and besides that, we have no collatoral really even if i co-sign with my parents. that's what happens when you live in a parsonage, i guess. the thing my dad said was, if i do take out a loan to do this, i'll be paying them and my other student loans back at about $500 a month until it's paid off in like ten years. that's a lot of money. (i would only be paying back about half that with my current loans, i think that my dad overestimated how much i would have to take out. but the fact remains the same that it isn't going to guarantee anything and it's a lot of money i don't have.)

the point is, i'm not devastated by this by any means. i just figure it isn't meant to be right now, and perhaps there is some other (less expensive) way to get to where i want. at least i have the outside confirmation that, yes, i am good, and i can do this. even if it did cost me close to $75 for that confirmation.

i'm debating if i should babysit xena and olive tomorrow. it's a 12-hour stint, but i might only have to be there for about half of it if someone else is interested. i'm just scared nobody else is, and i'm going to end up being there all day instead of the darkroom. (oh, let's be realistic, am i going to make it over there if i'm not babysitting?)

just over three weeks until my show opens.