i like buying new clothes and all, but getting new jeans is kind of depressing. i need to lay off the beer and vending machine purchases. i desperately hope that walking around england will result in the loss of a couple of pant sizes.

"There are things you just can’t do in life. You can’t beat the phone company, you can’t make a waiter see you until he’s ready to see you, and you can’t go home again." Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent

so...yesterday we went to clarion. my mom, brother and i had to go see dr. snively, and my sister wanted to give christmas presents to amber and alisa.

it's very strange to go back there. while some things have changed, it's still very much the same depressing town it used to be. i don't think it's much better to say i live in ottumwa now (read addy's coming out stories and you can kind of see why), but there is some kind of life here. driving around clarion, it was just run down houses and bad christmas decorations.

and at the high school they are doing some kind of construction, while some of it is academic, some of it is also athletic. i never did appreciate how in my school athletics came first, even though we were never good at it.

i also looked at the wright county monitor. i never noticed before how bad it looks. after working on the cornellian, i guess i grew some kind of standards of what a paper should look like, and the wright county monitor certainly isn't it.

it's just kind of interesting to see how things go. a number of my classmates are already getting married, some have kids. there are still people in town that never left. sometimes, when i look back at high school, i appreciate how at my class reunions some of the people that i never liked will be far less successful than i will be-that depending on if i can find a job.

speaking of which, i told my dad today that i want to go to grad school sometime, just not now. he was okay with that, just reminded me that i'll have to pay of student loans in six months. *whew* i don't think he was surprised though. i wonder what my mom will think.

as much as i generally like christmas, i'll be glad when these holidays are over.

1. as much as i like my family, i would rather not be around them. i don't mind being related to them, but they annoy me.

2. i'm feeling better, but i'm super tired. having to share an air matress with my sister (and the cat and dog if they felt like it) for two nights didn't help that much.

3. i wasn't expecting much for christmas, and i liked that i got a couple of books off of my amazon wishlist (a book of thurber drawings and writings, and the silmarillion), but i only had five things on my wishlist. i didn't get any of those things, including two towers or a day planner. clearly, by having them on my wishlist, i wanted them.

4. at least my sister got me a dvd player. she was being generous.

5. this computer is very very slow. we still have dialup, we're trying to convince our parents to get cable internet. but it makes it very hard to want to check my email or do anything, including all of the stuff i didn't do while i was at school and now need to do over break. like write my articles for my page. hm...think derek would get mad if i just skipped all of that?

for some reason, this computer screen makes my vision go all blurry. or maybe it's just my eyes.

ode to nyquil

i love nyquil. it is my savior. i feel like hell all day, but once it hits time for bed, oh, i can just chug some of that stuff down and pass out.

i thought i was feeling better, but apparantly all that optimism was enough so that god would be like "ha! we'll see about that!" or perhaps i was just very very bad in a past life, i don't know.

yesterday i felt okay, just like i was coughing up a lung. i can handle that. of course, i was the most annoying person in the movie (went to see rotk again, the arrival of the rohirrim at minas tirith is still my favorite part). it's hard to care though when the seat you are in is so crappy that you slide out for the entire 3+ hours. and you can hear the thing that they play the movies on. (what is that called?)

today though, i feel like i'm going to die. all of this coughing has given me a migraine and i'm absoultely freezing again. i'd go to bed, but it's only 8. i have this sort of obligation to not be so loserly.

plus, i only have one dose of nyquil left. i can't be waking up at 2am needing more.

country music=bleah!

i'm glad to hear that laura's interest in country music may not be permanent. i'll be sure to encourage our floormates to turn up the country music in the bathroom after we so clearly did not turn it on ourselves.

oh, wait, they already do that!

woe is me

i can't believe that laura now likes country music. i feel somewhat betrayed, but mostly i feel that, if she plays country music in our room, someone will get seriously hurt.

today i woke up with more than a minor headache. throughout church, it worsened to chills. i had visions of me becoming deathly ill, and missing my trip because i have to be hospitalized.

(also, since last night, i have been having visions of my luggage being the wrong size, my carryon too heavy, and me bringing something prohibited. not to mention someone stealing my clothes-not that in reality anyone would want to.)

clearly, i'm being paranoid. nobody will steal my clothes, my luggage will all be fine. and what must have just been a mild fever has already broken before charmed is even on.

(...and it is a rerun! oh, woe is me!)

oh, sweet procrastination...

so clearly, what i really needed, was a blog. as if i did not spend my block off already on my computer about eight of the twelve hours i was awake, let's give me another incentive to never leave my room. i had this glorious idea that i would spend my time reading books, and creating art. instead, i played avalanche on yahoo! and drank lots of pbr and rum & cokes. i feel a great sense of accomplishment, let me tell you.

help!

i'm so confused!