you with your switchblade posse

hello!  this week i have been "blessed" with the responsibility of doing the alias recap since laura couldn't.  i took copious notes to make sure i didn't forget anything, so it will probably be long.  a note on the title of the post, i took it from a song by the kings of leon.  everyone should buy their cd.  it's great.  i listen to it about four times a day.

also, i am glad that there is going to be a new lost next week.  see, unlike laura, i enjoy the show.  i think that it has nothing to do with it being a good show (because it really isn't) but because i unabashadely have a crush on dominic monaghan. 

anyway, ON TO ALIAS!

we open in the san marcos orphanage.  i don't know where that is, presumably in argentina.  i also kinda missed when it was.  i had bad reception so i missed a lot in this first part, i apologize.  anyway, it's nighttime and this guy sneaks in and tries to take a girl.  but then another girl starts fighting this man and after she runs away, the lady running the orphanage asks "where's nadia?"  just in case you were too dense to figure it out, okay?

so then we see present day nadia, going for a jog.  she walks into the apartment and syd asks here what's wrong.  nadia says, nothing, and syd says something about how she always goes for a run when something is bothering her and nadia has gone twice in the last 12 hours.  aw, it's so nice to see syd actually paying attention to someone other than herself!  of course the phone rings.

so then we see vaughn and syd, somewhere, and vaughn is showing syd his father's journal and tells her what murdoch said about shooting him in the back.  then my cable cut out, but there was something about syd putting her name on some request of some kind.  i think this is silly, since it's about vaughn's father, wouldn't whoever is filling this request make the connection?  yeah.

then my cable cut out again.  the whole gist of this next scene was that there is a piece of glass they need to get.  it can amplify a laser by 10,000 times.  as marshall feels the need to inform us, with this piece of glass, a laser in a cd player could take down a plane or cut a tank in half before weiss cuts him off with a "we get the picture."  then there is something about a guy named martinez and a roberto fox who was killed by martinez (who shall from now on be called baldy).

then...another flashback!  these flashbacks are all in sepia.  i hate sepia, it's all around gross.  and this is my professional opinion on the subject.

this time nadia is a little older than in the orphanage.  she's got short hair as a feeble attempt to make the actress look younger.  she and some guy steal some money from someone, and then a policeman comes and starts to beat her up.  oh yeah, we learn that this guy she is with is martinez. 

commercials! i go to a better tv and watch a commercial that states that "love means never having to say you are congested".  wtf? 

back to the show!  marshall to tell something to vaughn.  all i got was that mitchell learned a new word.  it sounded like "fubnuts" but is apparantly "beta particle".  vaughn is being all moody and stuff so marshall is going to leave when vaughn asks him if maybe he would like to have lunch with him sometime.  marshall gets all excited because someone is being nice to him.

MINSK
where is minsk?  they were all speaking russian.  i heard dixon say "cpaceba" which is "thank you".  i know this because it is probably the only word i remember from russian class.  i guess it's in belarus.  i still don't know where that is.  i'm a geography moron.

so they are in minsk.  at a party of some kind.  and guess what?  SYD IS WEARING ANOTHER BLONDE WIG!  when will she ever learn that A WIG DOES NOT A DISGUISE MAKE!  yeesh.  this one's all curly and piled on top of her head and she's wearing some ugly black dress.  her goal is to get some information from the pda of the architect of the building, but she has to be within two feet of him.  "time to turn on the charm."  so she goes up gushing about how beautiful it is, but she liked the one in, oh, i don't know, brussels better.  but oh no!  the information they need is encrypted!  so she asks for his autograph and while marshall is explaining how this is possible, smallmouth is giving him a dirty look.  marshall blurts out "i'm having lunch with vaughn."  ...okay...  but even better is when he decodes the information and says "bow before me, and weep, encryption gods!"  and then nadia spills some drink on some guy to get some card that they need and syd goes off to find this piece of glass.

FLASHBACK!
nadia is in jail and bleeding when roberto fox gives her a visit.  she's in her teens and is connected with over 130 crimes.  wow, she's been busy.  he says that he works for the government and wants to recruit nadia. 

present day, nadia sees baldy and while she is trying to tell everyone else they should get him, a bunch of masked men arrive with guns.  meanwhile, syd is trying to get the glass.  and i wonder why these people never wear gloves or anything.  wouldn't their fingerprints be all over everything?  it's just like how a wig is supposed to disguise syd, these questions need to be answered people!  the men arrive at the lab right when syd gets this piece of glass and they catch her, which is unusual.  she gives it to baldy and he is asking her who she works for but she won't tell him because he didn't say the "magic word".  right when he's going to shoot her, nadia shows up and tells him syd's working for her.

and syd is PISSED!  which i find to be hilarious.  also hilarious, is the commercial from the aarp about how you don't tear the house down to fix the kitchen sink.  it's about social security.  and i like this commercial.

back to HELL-LAY.
"she had a relationship with him.  she can use him.  you of all people should appreciate that."  can you guess who said that and to who?

if you said syd to sloane, DING DING DING!  you were right!  how predictable!

so they are going to go to argentina!

FLASHBACK
baldy joins the new spy lessons.  some stuff happens, it's not that interesting, just points out some more that baldy and nadia like each other.

back to vaughn, he can't find some of the operations he was looking for.  syd does some encryption thing and vaughn asks how she did it.  apparantly smallmouth encrypted syd's crossword puzzles as a kid.  i think the word "dysfunctional" was used somewhere in that conversation, and if not, it should have been.

BUENOS AIRES
nadia is sitting at a cafe when baldy arrives.  they talk and poor weiss has to listen to baldy talk about their relationship.  nadia convinces him she needs the glass or something will happen to her.  they go off, after she removes her tracking device.  (it's in her barrette.  how clever!)  syd and weiss try to follow her, but they lose her.

more commercials!  oh, a local burger joint is closing after 30 years.  i don't know why they are doing a news piece about it though, it's a HARDEES. 

YEESH.

vaughn figures out something that points him to portugal.

back to buenos aires and a FLASHBACK.  nadia is in a leather dress, off to do some pick-up.  i can see she's related to her sister.  roberto gives her a necklace as a "graduation present" (mm hmm) and then they kiss.  i think i might vomit.  she goes to the place, some people see her, and then she finds diego, who was previously seen in the little classroom session.  he's been beaten pretty badly, or shot, it's hard to tell because of the sepia tint.  diego reveals to her that roberto is a criminal, and they are not working for the government.  !! roberto is like sloane!  and it's like sd6! 

oh, and baldy's office is what was roberto's training facility.  back to the flashback though, it was NADIA who killed roberto, not baldy!  with several bullet wounds to the chest!  and baldy is mad!  and they fight! but nadia gets the gun first, just as syd and weiss reach the building.  and syd and nadia hug, because they lurve each other.  aw, sisterly love...isn't it sweet?

LISBON
vaughn goes to a house and who should answer the door but the lady from the orphanage.  she tells vaughn that his father was the one to bring nadia to her, and asks how she is.  he asks if she remembers anything else, and all she remembers is he was on the phone and something about "nightengale."  dun dun DUN.

and that is the end of the episode.  next week?  "nobody thinks about their last breath.  until they take it."  yes, syd is buried alive.